


To Let Her In

by TimeLadyoftheSith



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Bedsharing, Eavesdropping, F/M, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 18:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11340615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeLadyoftheSith/pseuds/TimeLadyoftheSith
Summary: The Doctor accidentally eavesdrops on Jack and Rose. Now, has has a decision to make. Is letting Rose in worth losing her in the end?





	1. Chapter 1

The Doctor rolled over on his bed and rubbed his face. His time sense told him he'd been asleep for nearly eight hours, and he groaned inwardly. It shouldn't have been surprising though, as he had kept himself awake for the last three weeks. Still, he had promised to meet Rose and Jack for dinner after he showered the grunge and grease off of himself. He had showered and laid back to ease the pounding in his head, but that had obviously given way to sleep.

He dragged himself to his feet, not even bothering to pull on his boots or leather jacket. It was nearing one in the morning TARDIS time, so his companions were probably sound asleep. The Doctor made his way to the galley to scrounge up some dinner, and once he was full on banana pancakes and tea, he headed towards the library to read while Rose and Jack slept.

As he drew closer, he heard the sound of the fireplace crackle, and the soft clink of glass to glass. Somebody was awake. Rose's soft chuckle came through the cracked doorway, and the Doctor couldn't help but smile. Her laugh always lit the darkness in his hearts. He peeked in the room, before pushing the door the rest of the way open, in case she was reading or watching one of those cheesy love dramas. She always seemed so embarrassed when he caught her reading them.

What the Doctor saw simultaneously made his hearts sink and jealousy rear it's ugly head. Rose was there alright, but so was Jack.

Jack was reclining shirtless on a pile of cushions with one leg relaxed out straight. His other was bent up at an easy angle. He could have been posing for the cover of a romance novel. He held a glass of wine in one hand, and his other was wrapped around Rose, brushing feather light strokes down her skin.

Rose was tucked between Jack's legs, her back to the door. She was wearing nothing but a strappy satin night dress that barely reached her knees. Her head was resting against Jack's shoulder, and one hand rested on his bent knee, holding a glass of wine.

The Doctor was about to turn away, chastising himself for the green monster boiling in his chest, when Jack spoke.

"You should just tell him, Rosie." At his words Rose heaved a sigh and nuzzled his shoulder. "I'm serious. Keeping it secret isn't doing either of you any good. He deserves to know."

The Doctor swallowed a growl. Obviously Rose was feeling some sort of guilt for not telling Ricky the idiot about Jack. Well that wasn't his problem. He didn't so domestics. He made to turn again.

"But, The Doctor doesn't feel the same way, Jack." Rose's words stopped him in his tracks. They were talking about him. Did she think she needed his permission to shag the Captain? As much as the idea repulsed him and made his hands shake in envy, she was an adult.

"He does, Rose. I've seen the way he looks at you when you don't." Jack sighed and brushed his fingers across her shoulders. "He's as besotted with you as you are with him. Say something. We both know he's too emotionally self-repressed to say it first."

The Doctor was stunned. They weren't talking about Rose and Jack. They were talking about Rose and him. Rose had feelings for him, for his broken, damaged, war tainted hearts. It was impossible. She was so young, innocent, unmarred by the horrors of the past and the evil of the future.

"But he's a Time Lord. He's a Lord Jack. I'm just some stupid, uneducated, ape." Rose lifted her wine glass from view and settled it back down. "I'm a human. Humans are beneath him. The Doctor could never feel that way about someone like me."

The Doctor's hearts threatened to shatter under the intensity of the sadness in her words. How could she say that about herself? She was so brilliant, always eager to learn, never afraid to stand her ground. He loved that about her. He loved everything about her. He gripped his fists tight, aching to cross the room and scoop her into his arms.

"Listen to me, Rosebud." Jack tossed back his wine, set the glass out of sight, and wrapped Rose with the now free hand. "You are not uneducated or stupid. I know that asshole you were with before Mickey." Rose made a squeak of shock and tried to jerk back, but Jack held her tight. "Mickey told me alright. I didn't think it was my place to mention it, but I know he did a number on your self esteem. He was wrong. I see you, and I know the Doctor does too. Tell him, or you'll regret it."

"I'll think about it." Rose gave worrisome sigh and wriggled out of his arms.

"Well I'm beat. I'll take these back to the galley. Want me to walk you to your room?" Jack stretched his arms over his head, and the Doctor stepped out of view of the door.

"Nah. I'm gonna stay up a bit longer." There was the sound of a tight hug, and the Doctor sprinted noiselessly down the hall to the galley.

He quickly filled the sink and began washing the dishes he had messed. Jack came in a few minutes later. "Well hello Sleeping Beauty!" The Time Agent chuckled and passed him the wine glasses. "I didn't even know you slept until you didn't show for dinner."

"Don't need much sleep, me." The Doctor gave him the smuggest smile he could muster to hide the guilt of eaves dropping. "Rose in bed?"

"Nah." Jack opened the wine cooler that had manifested itself shortly after Rose's arrival on board and slid the half empty bottle into its rack. "She's in the library. Said She's having trouble sleeping tonight." Jack yawned and made a playful swat at the Doctor's butt.

He brushed Jack's hand away and rolled his eyes. "I'll go check on her." The Doctor tossed the towel in his hand to the counter and strode out of the galley into the hall.

His hearts were pounding. He didn't have time to process the information he had so unwittingly acquired, and now he had to go face it head on. He could find an excuse, a way to ease into telling her, or maybe even letting her say it first. For the first time in a long time, the Doctor wasn't sure what to do. He and Rose had maintained this thin line since nearly day one. Sometimes they toed over the edge with a lingering hug or a charged innuendo. Yet, still, that line remained there. The strange part was, is he couldn't remember who drew it. Was it him or Rose?

The Doctor's feet led him to the library, and, sure enough, Rose was curled up on those cushions staring at the fire. She was twirling her hair around a finger, but that was all he could see. Steeling himself, he leaned against the doorframe and cleared his throat.

Rose jumped and turned, her face wide with shock and then settling into a relieved smile. "Doctor! You're awake."

"So I am." The Doctor couldn't help himself but return her smile. "Jack said you were in here instead of bed. Everything okay?"

Rose's eyes flashed panic for a moment then cleared as they took in his relaxed stance. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just can't sleep." She gave a shrug and tugged at her pink night dress.

"Something wrong with your room? Is the atmospheric control not working? I can fix it?" The Doctor was trying to find any excuse to keep himself from facing the truth he knew but she didn't know he knew.

"No, just, sometimes after adventures like today, I have a hard time relaxing." Her cheeks tinged a bit pink, and she lowered her eyes.

Their adventure had been harrowing, narrowly escaping from certain death, as usual. The Doctor's mouth opened before he could stop himself. "Want to sleep in my room?" Mentally he slapped himself, but did his best to keep his face calm. What was he thinking? Nobody had ever been in his room, not since his granddaughter.

Rose's lips popped open in shock, but she closed them. "But you already slept. I mean, I don't want to be a bother, Doctor."

Well he had already offered. He couldn't back out now. "I'll stay 'til you fall asleep, then I'll just read or tinker on my work desk." He tried his best to give her his best friend smile, but it felt awkward on his face. "I mean, unless it's too weird or what have you. Just thought I'd ask."

Rose worried her bottom lip with her teeth, her amber eyes searching his own ice blue ones. Finally she nodded and pushed herself up. "Awfully domestic, letting me sleep in your bed, isn't it?"

"Nah." The Doctor shrugged as she drew near him, and their fingers latched together out of habit. "I'm your Doctor, 's my job to make sure you get your rest." He tried not to realize the implications that could be taken from calling himself her Doctor. He was though, and she didn't even know it. "C'mon, it's this way."

"I've never even seen your bedroom door." Rose grinned up at him, squeezing his hand.

"It's tucked away. The TARDIS keeps anybody I have on board away. I like my privacy." He grinned back, trying to convey nonchalantly how big a step this was for him. "You're the first, since my granddaughter." He had told Rose about Susan, but never his other companions. He had only ever called them friends. "But I'll tell the TARDIS to let you find it when you need it."

"Really?" Rose's eyebrows nearly reached her hairline in surprise. "Doctor, you don't have to, I mean it's your room."

"Really, Rose." He brought her to a stop outside of the plain chestnut door that led to his inner sanctum. "Here we are." He turned the door knob and ushered her through.

For a moment he wished he had cleaned up a bit, but Rose didn't seem to mind. He called it a bedroom, but it was nearly the size of her mum's flat. He hadn't been one for the closed walls of houses or flats, so his room was open. It flowed from the sitting area, where he liked to sit and study when he was in between companions, to the sleeping area, then back to the workshop section, and directly across from the sleeping area was the only other door. It led to his sprawling ensuite. It was one of the few things he let the TARDIS spoil him with.

The bed was a massive four poster with a mattress that detected stress levels and discomfort and automatically adjusted to the sleepers needs. He hadn't slept under the crimson blanket, so it was only mildly wrinkled but still made. The Doctor dropped Rose's hand, as she gazed around, and strode over to pull back the corner of the blanket where he usually slept. The thought of her there, dreaming peacefully, and surrounded by his scent was a fantasy he had indulged in quite often.

"Does it pass inspection?" The Doctor chuckled as she ran her fingers across his leather jacket that was draped over the back of a cushy arm chair. He had some clothes scattered about, along with tools and blue prints.

"It suites you." Rose favored him with his favorite tongue touched smile. She crossed to him and stopped so they were only a few inches apart. "Thank you, for letting me see this."

"Don't tell Jack. He'll want to sleep over too." It was the only quip the Doctor could come up with now that her body was so close and so exposed.

"Yeah right!" Rose gave a laugh and squeezed the Doctor with a tight but brief hug. "Like I'd want anyone else to get dibs on that bed." She ducked under his arms and crawled into the spot he made for her. "Oh my God. It's amazing." She practically purred as the mattress configured itself to her body.

"Invented it myself." The Doctor grinned and pulled the blanket up over her. "Now sleep, Rose Tyler." He fought back an urge to kiss her forehead, and turned away to his sitting area. The TARDIS dimmed the lights over the bed, and he settled into a chair next to a low lamp to read a book on the history of scientific growth in the Ameldra galaxy. He felt Rose's eyes on him, so he looked up at her. "Sleep." He gave her a soft smile, and her eyes snapped shut.

The Doctor congratulated himself on this small step, this minute victory of letting her in. It was a start. Seeing her face ease into pleasant dreams, he wanted nothing more than to let her know how she felt. Still, he didn't want to taint her, to let his dark past snuff out that innocent light that was her life. He knew he was fooling himself, because she already felt something and now he was only feeding into it.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The first few hours had been easy. Rose had fallen asleep almost immediately, and the soft sound of her breaths filled the room. Soon, her intoxicating scent was all around him. It hung on the air that blew from the vents, and settled onto his skin. The Doctor had finished his book, and moved over to his work bench, where he had been constructing a back up sonic. After the adventure last week, when he had nearly dropped his current one into a gaping whirlpool, having a spare seemed smart.

The TARDIS was humming contentedly into his mind. Her lyric-less song seemed to approve of the current state of things. The Doctor knew there was a special bond between his old girl and his bubbling blonde companion. It had formed almost immediately, and sometimes he wondered at it. He let his ship's happy state wash through him. It made him smile as he assembled the delicate circuit board designed to fit into the body of the sonic.

He was pulled from his reverie when Rose gave a whimper, and moved on the bed. He barely had time to turn before she spoke, a sort of panicked gasp of fear. "Doctor!" When the Doctor faced her, she was turned away from him, her legs moving under the sheets and blanket. "Doctor-" her voice was softer, and she mumbled incoherently.

He hurried from the bench to crawl onto the bed beside her. It only took a moment of warring with himself, before her head jerked to the side and he saw her face scrunched in despair. Unable to let her be tormented by whatever she was seeing, he placed a hand on her arm to try to shake her awake. The nightmare surged through the contact, slamming past his mental defenses before he had time to react, and poured into his mind.

Rose was in a dark tunnel. He heard his own voice calling her name from ahead, and could see the light from the TARDIS windows. Yet, no matter how fast she moved her legs. She was stuck. The TARDIS began to wheeze and groan, and Rose sobbed both out loud and in her mind. "Doctor! Please don't leave me here!" Anguish and abandonment washed up his arm and into his mind.

Gritting his teeth, the Doctor slammed his barriers back into place. Rose would be furious if she knew he had seen, even by accident. Telepathy still scared her a bit, and he respected that. Once the nightmare was safely blocked, he flopped back onto his pillows and pulled her into his arms. She was mumbling broken words again, and gripping the blanket tight. His hearts ached. So she was as terrified to lose him as he was to lose her. "Rose. Rose wake up." He brushed her hair back from her face. "I'm right here. Open your eyes."

Rose jerked in his arms, her head snapping up and eyes going wide. She took in her surroundings and blinked. "What?" She pushed against his arms, bracing a hand against his chest.

"You were having a nightmare, I think." The Doctor let her move, not wanting to make her feel trapped or like he was forcing himself into her space. Despite what he had overheard, some part of him didn't believe it.

"Yeah, just a nightmare." Suddenly her fear filled eyes gave way to a blush of embarrassment. "Oh my God. Was I talking in my sleep?" She flopped down on the pillow next to him and covered her eyes with her arm.

"Not really." It wasn't a lie. She had only said a few understandable words. "You just called my name, and you were thrashin' about. Tried shaking you awake, but it didn't work. Figured a hug might do the trick." He tried again for a playful smile. "Superior hugger, me. Wanna talk about it?"

Rose gave a heavy sigh and rolled over to face him. The Doctor slid down so their faces were about half a foot apart. "Just one of those nightmares where you try to run and you can't." So she was playing half truths tonight too. "Thank you, for the superior Time Lord hug."

"Anytime, Rose Tyler." This earned him a chuckle as she found his hand on top the blanket. Her fingers were warm from sleep, and the Doctor watched in amusement as his cooler touch sent goosebumps up her arm. "I could..." oh he was gonna bugger this up and he knew it. "If it helps, I could lay here while you sleep." He could feel the blush creeping up his own cheeks now, and the tips of his ears began to burn.

"I'd like that." Rose gave him a shy smile and her hair fell into her face. "I mean, if it won't be too weird or yeah." She shook her hair back, and her honey irises were timid.

"What's weird about it? We've shared a bed before." They had, but never in the TARDIS. Dank prison cells or remote village huts didn't really count. "I can sing to you, like I did on Naxtori."

"In Gallifreyan?" Rose's eyes immediately lit up in excitement.

The Doctor's hearts did a double flip. If only she knew what those lyrics meant that he had sung. Maybe then she wouldn't fear him leaving her behind. "If you want." He reached out with one hand and brushed his fingers over her eyes, feeling her lashes flutter shut.

Softly, he began to sing to her in his mother tongue. It was a song about a broken man, a soldier all alone with nowhere to go. His pain and anger were enough to shatter stars and destroy planets, but then a light came to him. All pink and yellow it soothed his wounds, reminded him of who he was and the promise he made so long ago.

The song came to a close, and he expected Rose to be asleep now. She had fallen asleep so easily the last time he had done this, but her eyes opened again. They darted between his, and he felt himself drowning in the swirling gold and caramel flecks. "What does it mean?" Her voice was soft, awestruck, and breathless.

"A story, about a soldier who finds a way to heal." Again, half truths because he was too chicken to let her in. "I can sing a different song, a lullaby."

"No, it was beautiful. 'S just." Her teeth caught her lip again, as it always did when she was unsure.

"It's just what, Rose?" He wondered if she figured it out, that it was her song.

"Nothing, was a stupid thought I had." She shook her head and snuggled into the pillow.

If there was a contest over who thought less of themselves, the Doctor wasn't sure who would win, himself or Rose. Only one person on this ship was allowed to be self-loathing at a time. "No thought you have is ever stupid, Rose Tyler. Don't ever talk about yourself like that."

"You call me a stupid ape all the time." As soon as she said the words, she buried her face in the pillow, yanking her hand away.

Now he'd done it, well had done it so many times over. He never meant it. It was just the way he fell back any time she did something that could result in her dying. This situation needed to be rectified immediately. "I don't mean it, Rose." He gripped her chin lightly in between his thumb and forefinger. "Look at me." Her eyes met his, full of hesitation and rejection. He was going to do it. He had no choice, not with her looking at him like that. "That song is about you. About how you saved me from myself."

Rose shook her head, pulling her chin free of his touch. "Don't say things you don't mean, Doctor."

The disbelief in her tone broke his will. Lacing his fingers in her hair, the Doctor pulled her across the pillow to his lips. It was soft, just a delicate press of chilly and dry to warm and damp, but Rose gave a squeak of shock. He pulled away, pleading with his eyes for her to let him let her in.

Two breaths passed between them before Rose grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back to her. This time it was firmer, her plump lower lip caught between his, their arms bumping as they strove to pull each other closer. Rose kicked the blanket off so she could press herself flush against him, and their tongues met in a swirling dance.

This close, this connected, the light that always radiated from her mind brushed against his own darkness. Their thoughts didn't merge, but the storm retreated from the sun that was Rose. When the Doctor grasped at her waist, she sighed into his mouth.

The Doctor broke the kiss to whisper against her lips. "Now do you believe me?"

"Shut up and kiss me, you daft alien." Rose giggled, pulling him over her and lacing her arms around his neck.

"Your wish is my command." The Doctor captured her again, reveling in the relief of everything she brought to his life. On the edges of his mind, he felt the TARDIS begin to sing with a happiness he had not heard since their first flight. Gallifrey was where he came from, but here, in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler, he was home.

 


End file.
